Georgia: The “I do”s and Don’ts

If you find yourself behind the wheel in Tbilisi pulling calmly (and perfectly legally) out of a side street to be almost hit by a convoy of random cars hurtling at break-neck speed (not necessarily in the right direction), horns tooting and indicators flashing… then you have almost experienced a Georgian wedding.

In the past, such craziness was done on horseback (no insurance worries or risk of scratched doors or whiplash back then). According to tradition, the groom and his friends would ride to the bride’s house and drink toasts to the couple and the girl’s family while picking from the mound of sweet dishes laid out for them by their hosts. Then the wedding race began, the couple’s carriage at the front of the convoy, the belief being that the first to arrive at the church after the couple would be the bravest and most devoted of the friends.

These days, the race usually takes place after the more serious church ceremony and on the way to the flower-festooned and microphone-wielding civil registrar, after which the wedding party (usually counting up to 300 guests) heads off to a designated restaurant. Once everybody is seated and has started to eat (no waiting in Georgia!), the groom leads in his bride, who steps on a plate for luck. Then the dancing and feasting really begin, with cries of ‘Gilosavt!’ (Congratulations!) to the happy couple.

Another interruption to an otherwise pleasant drive through the capital city might be a convoy of a more somber variety, led by a flower-laden hearse. Funerals tend to take place on a Tuesday, Thursday or weekend, typically three to five days after a person has died.

Immediately after a person dies, close family choose a burial day and have the body prepared and placed in a coffin in the center of the guest room (or in church). Chairs are arranged around the edges of the room, reflective surfaces such as glass doors or mirrors are covered (lest the soul be trapped in the reflection) and candles lit. The front door is left open with the coffin lid outside for the duration of the mourning visits. Close female family members spend most of the days of mourning before burial sitting, quietly weeping and/or praying beside the deceased while guests enter the room, move anti-clockwise around the coffin and place flowers beside it (note, in Georgia an odd number of flowers is the tradition for funerals, though in reality, no-one checks and simple bouquets are just as good a sign of respect as ready-made displays). Guests nod to the women and shake hands with the men- who stand outside the room. Women visitors are welcome to sit a while and men to chat in hushed voices outside, but a quick visit to show your respect is also acceptable. Religious blessings take place with only close family present.

The day of the burial often sees a large number of people attending, taken from the house of the deceased to the cemetery (not necessarily in town) where the men help bury and the women keep back. Then follows the ‘kelehi’ at a restaurant- with up to 300 attendees present to feast and toast to the memory of the deceased. The word for ‘My condolences’ is ‘Viziareb.’